Catch Share Hell

Jane Lubchenco, Tony Blair, and Vladimir Putin eventually all died and (of course) went straight to Hell. Upon arrival, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he finished the Devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Tony Blair calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When he’s finished the Devil informs him that cost is 6 million dollars, so Blair writes him a check. Finally, Lubchenco gets her turn and talks for 4 hours. When she’s finished, the Devil kindly informed her that there would be no charge and to feel free to call Silver Spring or Washington DC anytime. Putin goes ballistic and asks the Devil why Lubchenco got to call Silver Spring for free. The Devil replied, “Since Lubchenco became NMFS’s Premier of Implementation for Catch Shares, the federal fisheries inside 200-miles has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.” 20:18