FISHERYNATION.COM

April 1, 2019
By Boris Badenuff
Early this morning President Donald J. Trump announced a total moratorium on the
planning, development, and construction of offshore windmills for the next twelve years. The President
cited numerous reasons for his decision and declared “This part of the Green New Deal is dead, the only
thing green about offshore wind is the money being thrown around of which the taxpayers and
electricity users will be forced to pay back in excessive electric rates and subsidies.”

Trump supported his decision by saying, “If wind power proponents are so certain that the
world will end in 12 years, and I don’t believe that one bit, it’s a bunch of nonsense, then it doesn’t
matter what the U.S. does in the near future, we alone cannot save the planet. Unless China, and India
and other developing nations are going to also step up and stop the burning of fossil fuels, then we are
fools to think we can make any impact by ourselves. We could shut down every fossil fuel burning power
plant in the country tomorrow and ban all automobiles and it still would not matter as long as China and
India are continuing to build new coal and oil burning power plants at a breakneck speed. So, before we
totally destroy our economy based on chicken little science, let’s see if the so-called experts are right. 12
years is not that long to wait, and I’ll probably be dead by then, anyway, so what’s the hurry?”

He continued; “I’ve never been a fan of wind power, I opposed one windfarm off of Scotland
because it would become an eyesore for members of my golf course. I mean this is an energy form that
was obsolete 150 years ago because it was so inefficient, yet now people are claiming it’s the best thing
since white privilege. I don’t get it. Thanks to my policies of industrial deregulation since I took office, we
have not only become energy independent for the first time in 70 years, but we are also the world’s
largest producers of oil and natural gas. The Democratic Green New Deal would destroy our economy
and take us back to the stone age.”

“Unfortunately, my deregulation policies, which were designed to speed up industrial
development by cutting costly and unnecessary red tape, have some flaws. I was never told that there
are hardly any scientific studies about the effects of wind turbines on the marine ecosystem. Little is
known about how the electro-magnetic fields produced by the turbines and their huge underground
network of High Voltage transmission cables will effect fish and marine mammals, some of which are
highly endangered, such as the northern right Whale. I love fish, its great with tartar sauce, besides I
swim with sharks everyday, and I gotta tell you, the sharks I swim with are worse then jaws.”

“I been told by numerous people that the turbines themselves are quite noisy, that’s why no
one wants them in their own towns, they also produce enormous vibrations, and these are not Good
Vibrations, don’t you just love the Beach Boys?…. these vibrations will undoubtedly scare every living
creature within miles of it away. They will run for their lives. Yes, they will.”

“I’m amazed that as questionable as the science is regarding the environmental impacts of such
huge offshore windfarms, the environmental community is embracing them so blindly. Haven’t they
heard of the pre-cautionary principle? Maybe if I said they were great, they would oppose them.

All of the European countries that have shifted to Wind Based power now have electric rates double and
triple that In the U.S. We have hundreds of years worth of cheap and clean natural gas reserves, and we
are continuing to convert old obsolete plants to burn this clean gas, further reducing our countries
emissions. In the mean time let’s see how those European windmills hold up over the years in the harsh,
cold, salty, marine environment they’re in and let’s do actual studies of the effects of them on the
marine environment and the creatures in it, and those that depend on it for their livelihood. It seems
that Fishermen have been totally left out of the windmill equation, these people who risk their lives
every day to feed our country, I mean they are the oldest profession in the U.S. and they are being
swept away by the outright greed of the wind power companies.”

“I personally do not want to be responsible for what could be considered the largest tax
increase in history. I know it’s not really a tax, but if a household’s electricity rates triple in the space of a
few years because of a government supported program designed to enrich a handful of snake oil
salesmen, then it is the same as a tax, only our government doesn’t reap the benefits, the money goes
to the shysters. Lastly, there is a real safety issue here. I’m concerned that some of my political
colleagues might drown in all the cash that is flowing their way from the supporters of wind power.
They’re running out of mattress’s to stuff, and laundromats to wash the money in. Just yesterday in
Trenton, an innocent bystander sustained a concussion when he was hit in the head by a large sack of
gold thrown from a new black Mercedes sedan as it sped by . Police are seeking any witnesses who
might help identify the car, but it seems it is gone with the wind. God bless America, and APRIL Fools.”

Obviously, President Trump did not do or say any of this. But wouldn’t it be nice if he did? If his
administration actually took the time to see what BOEM is actually doing? The wind energy proponents
are furiously racing to take advantage of the American people because the European countries they
fooled into believing how great wind power is are now fed up with it and the exorbitant rates they are
forced to pay. I wonder if they would do it again. In the meantime New York and New Jersey, two of the
most liberal and bankrupt states in the country, both financially and morally, are in the process of
creating a huge environmental mess that will consume hundreds of square miles of ocean bottom with
the most expensive to produce electricity in the world. They’re in the middle of Northern Right Whale
and Fin Whale migratory routes, and will funnel them into the shipping lanes if they don’t totally spook
them into an offshore route hundreds of miles away, with questionable food reserves. Yet I don’t hear
our environmental do gooder’s saying a word about that. Fishermen can’t look at a marine mammal
without the government shutting them down, yet these windmills, which may actually cause the
extinction of these huge animals are being rushed through with no concern about their impacts. That’s
what money can do, and who it can buy. Call your congressman and senators and express your concern,
don’t forget to bring a bag of money, otherwise they won’t listen to you.
Harvey Haddock