Tag Archives: satire
DOGE DISCOVERS SHOCKING EXPERIMENTS TO TURN MANATEE’S INTO MANASHE’S By Jane Lovgren
In a shocking revelation today, Elon Musk announced that his Department of Government Efficiency had discovered an incredibly disturbing use of taxpayer money by the National Institute of Health to transform endangered Manatee’s into Manashe’s. The project has been ongoing since 2012, starting during the Obama administration, at the urging of “Big Mike”, a shadowy figure with close ties to the President. While DOGE is still wading through the complex funding mechanisms, they have documented over fifty million dollars spent on this experiment, the purpose of which was to save the Manatees from extinction by allowing them to impregnate themselves, thus eliminating the need for males altogether. more, >>CLICK TO READ<< 05:30
Cows Trample Dozens Of Lobsters To Death In Escalating Surf ’N’ Turf War
In what is being described as the most ruthless act of bovine–crustacean violence in years, local authorities confirmed Monday that a charging herd of cattle had trampled 49 lobsters to death on the southern coast of Maine, marking a bloody escalation in their surf ’n’ turf war. According to reports, the shoreline at Crescent Beach State Park was littered with crushed claws and carapaces, the deadliest hit yet in a week of intensifying conflict between lobsters and cows. The fragile 16-month truce between the rivals is said to have been shattered Sunday,,, >click to read<19:30
