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Coast Guard boat crashing through waves is having a f*cking blast!

March 22, 2020 National, Pacific

CAPE DISAPPOINTMENT — Witnesses in the southwestern corner of Washington state have reported that a 47-foot Coast Guard vessel was last seen having the time of its f*cking life crashing through gigantic 18-foot breakers past the Columbia River bar. The Coast Guard boat, known for its durability in treacherous weather, was heard yelling things like “WEEEEEEEEE!!!” and “Guys guys guys guys guys, waaaatch this, BWOOOOSHHHH!!” >click to read< 08:46

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Coast Guard confirms new icebreaker will be ready just in time for Hell to freeze over

October 18, 2016 National

With three icebreakers at over 40 years of use and abuse in the Polar Regions, the Coast Guard finally announced that the new icebreaker currently under construction will be complete just in time for Hell to freeze over. In a recent hearing of the House Subcommittee on the Coast Guard on Monday, chairman Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) asked U.S. Coast Guard vice commandant Adm. Charles D. Michel on whether or not a new icebreaker would be constructed at all. Adm. Michel responded with, “Yes, we have been in talks with Lucifer and his Minions of Doom regarding the deadline and we are all in agreement that this timeline works for us.” “This is very exciting,” said former serial killer Ted Bundy, from the the Seventh Circle of Hell. “Our all-knowing and gloriously hateful lord of fire will be able to continue his reign of sin on the unholy all thanks to the speedy manufacturing of Vigor Industrial Shipyard and the US Coast Guard.” Read the rest here 08:17

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Ocean Resource Privatization

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The New England groundfish debacle (Part III): who or what is at fault? Nils E. Stolpe/FishNet

It took me a while to decide how to most accurately describe the situation that has been visited upon the New England fishing communities that are and since colonial times have been dependent on the groundfish fisheries.

NILS STOLPE: The New England groundfish debacle (Part IV): Is cutting back harvest really the answer?

While it’s a fact that’s hardly ever acknowledged, the assumption in fisheries management is that if the population of a stock of fish isn’t at some arbitrary level, it’s because of too much fishing. Hence the term “overfished.” Hence the mandated knee jerk reaction of the fisheries managers to not enough fish; cut back on fishing. What of other factors? They don’t count. It’s all about fishing, because fishing is all that the managers can control; it’s their Maslow’s Hammer. When it comes to the oceans it seems as if it’s about all that the industry connected mega-foundations that support the anti-fishing ENGOs with hundreds of millions of dollars a year in “donations” are interested in controlling. Read the article here

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